I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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