He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
