hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
