So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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