so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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