I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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