Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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