hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
