Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Its about making memories worth repressing
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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