Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
