So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I love you. Go after that dick
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
