similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
