Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
