Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize