i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
