Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry sarahhslasherr hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(818): View more from California

he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.

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(239): View more from Florida

you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys

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(850): View more from Florida

Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.

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(516): View more from New York

Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.

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(714): View more from California

I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay

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(573): View more from Missouri

There's always time for handjobs

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.

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