yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
