hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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