He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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