I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
