All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
