his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
