Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
There are leaves in my underwear?
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