he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
