that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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