so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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