We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
