I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
