sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
