so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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