I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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