dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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