I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
