I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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