You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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