Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
