so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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