just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
