She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
