is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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