so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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