This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
