Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Found the puke drawer
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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