i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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