come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!