The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.