MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
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You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
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Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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