There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
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had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.