I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.