my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
