Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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