Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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