WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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