Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I think my moral compass just broke
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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