Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
