guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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