new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
