Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
as a side note pls kill me
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
