Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
