remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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