So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
