I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.