I hate all girls vehemently.
a bad idea.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off