I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.