god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.