Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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